I woke up in a terrible mood this morning. Given my tendency to rarely do things halfway, it was a go-big-or-go-home bad mood. Went to bed late, woke up early. Uncertain about the future. Feeling useless and unappreciated. Irritable over every little thing that would typically not bother me.
And if I’m to be wholly honest, this mood closely resembles the kind I’ve been in on many other days lately. This place in life feels uncomfortable in pretty much every area. And while the rational part of me realizes that the most uncomfortable times always turn out to be the ones the Lord is using to create and recreate me, I still can’t say I’ve learned to consistently find joy in them while they’re here.
But life is life, and so I got out of bed, got myself together, and went to praise band practice.
Y’all, art is medicine. And at some point today, somewhere around the time I stopped singing out of the obligation to practice and started singing sheerly because I love singing more than doing almost anything else, it started healing my tired spirit a little. And then a lot. To the point that I stopped thinking about the words and notes coming out, because they didn’t feel like words or notes anymore. They just felt like me. And for the first time today, me felt like a pretty good place to be.
Sometimes, during these uncomfortable days, I just need to get out of my head. Get out of my head and into my soul. That is so much harder than it sounds, because it feels like there’s so much to be planned and dealt with and processed, and I get caught in the trap of believing that there’s so much going on, I can’t afford to get out of my head for any length of time.
And I know I’m not the only one in this place today. And so I’m saying a huge prayer in tiny words right now, that not only does God give me the freedom to get out of the prison of my head and into the joy of my soul, but He gives you that freedom too, whoever you might be.
Go make art for awhile. Write, draw, paint, take pictures, sing, play the violin. Even if you’re really bad at any or all of the above. Go do something that reminds you of things that are beautiful. Beauty is healing.