when the life you chose isn’t easy

I may or may not have actually cursed at my alarm clock when it went off at 5 this morning.  I’ll never completely confirm or deny it.

Josh and I are blessed to live with two of our best friends right now.  Sometimes, we forget it’s a blessing.  Somewhere in between all the questions we get about why we all live under the same roof and how two married couples could possibly get along under such circumstances and explaining that yes, we really are still best friends after living together for over a year, it’s easy to forget that we believe that maybe God didn’t create us to be quite as independent as the current American culture would lead us to believe.  Maybe He created us to do life together.

And this morning, at 5 am, my alarm clock went off to remind me that it was time to drag my rear end out of bed, go to the living room, and do life with Megan.  Life in the form of a Jillian Michaels workout.

I may or may not have actually cursed at my alarm clock when it went off at 5 this morning.

But as I lay there in bed, phone in hand, ready to text Meg and tell her that I just couldn’t do it this morning, I just couldn’t get out of bed, something Josh said earlier this week replayed in my head.

We chose this life, Aud.  We live this way because we chose to.

Oh, that man.  I love him for speaking the truths that I both hate and need to hear.  He wasn’t talking about getting up early and working out at the time, He was talking about making (and not resenting) the tough decisions that come with having chosen to be a disciple of Jesus Christ.

We live the life we choose, to a large degree.  We could have chosen differently.  We could taken the freedom God adopted us into and chosen to chase money and success and total independence and some small degree of the fame that this world might allow us, were we to really pursue it.  But we didn’t choose that.  We chose Christ instead, and for all we’ve come to know of Him, His way is pretty much never any of that.  His way is small choices that feel huge and sometimes–more often than not, really–feel very, very hard.

Sometimes you have to choose how to live and learn how to be okay when the choice you made on a prior day feels harder than ever before.

Sometimes it’s a beautiful thing to greet the day by remembering all the reasons that, even if you had the option, you wouldn’t go back and make a different choice.

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