And somewhere in the middle of the chaos, there is calm.
Today has been that calm. This past week has been rough. The listening project is much harder than I anticipated it being, simply because you never realize some of the ugly things that inhabit your soul until you take the time to see them and hear them and feel them. This week has been like a roller coaster of alternately taking the time to examine my spirit and running in the opposite direction, wishing I hadn’t.
But today has just been lovely. I think God knows my heart well enough to know that I needed this oasis. And so today, in the quiet, I am reminded how blessed I am.
By a husband that I can have hard conversations with at 3:30 am, and still know beyond the shadow of any doubt that I wouldn’t want to live this life with anyone else, be the moments easy or difficult.
By friends who text me from another continent to encourage me.
By hugs from my students.
By quiet moments in the car, watching the sun rise and enjoying a chance to just be and breathe.
By people who shared exactly what I needed to hear without knowing it.
By the kind of chilly weather that jumpstarts my heart.
By the knowledge that in two days, Josh and I will be moving into an apartment that only contains a mattress on the floor, dishes to cook with and eat on, some food, and two lawn chairs–and that is more than enough for contentment and even happiness.
By the kind of friends that would open their home to us for over a year, and exhibit the kind of hospitality that makes leaving it feel like leaving our own home.
By people who are constant and daily and there, even when I’m an unreliable, inconsistent mess.
By a God who continues to make Himself known to me. Even though the path to knowing Him isn’t easy or colored in as many black and whites as I’d like sometimes, He is faithful to show me who He is, and to show me who I am in being His.
Today has been a beautiful day.