31 days to listen : a Jacob spirit

I wrestle with God all the time.

And sometimes that feels so desperately wrong.  Sometimes I look around me, and I feel as though all the people I’ve grown up respecting have Him all worked out.  They seem to know how every part of life fits in to Him.  How He feels about everything in His world.  What He would do in every situation.  Who He would vote for.  Who He would hang out with.  Where He would hang out.  What He would support.  How He would respond to things He doesn’t support.  Who He would deem fit and unfit for His Kingdom.  Who’s got some hope left and who’s just a lost cause.

God help me, I don’t have ANY of that figured out.  From the day I was born, I have had a Jacob spirit, always wrestling with the angel.  I want to know God desperately, but He always seems to be handing me fresh opportunities to look at the world from a difficult perspective.  He has put me in situations with no simple answer, and I am immensely frustrated by a world full of Christians with a right hand full of simple answers to very difficult questions and a left hand full of judgment for people who cannot accept those simple answers.

I don’t think for a second that when God told us to come to him with simple faith, like a child, He meant that every situation we would encounter would have a simple solution.  I think the simplicity He was asking of us was not that we just blindly accept trite answers, but that we wrestle with difficult situations in an attitude of simple faith.  Faith that, although we may not understand all the questions and all the answers along the way, He is daily setting all things right.

I’ve spent a large chunk of my life feeling as though I’m wrestling with people over right and wrong and good and evil.  When the whole time, I’ve just been wrestling with the One who’s putting it all in its proper place.

I don’t think the fact that I wrestle makes me less connected to the One I wrestle with.

What do you wrestle with these days?


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