roots and wings

Five Minute Friday: Roots

Sometimes they scare me, you know? I venture back to the place I was planted these days, the place that I first existed and began to grow into the person I see when I look into the mirror today.  And sometimes I see nothing of myself in that place. I walk the streets, smile at the people, engage in conversation…

And for the life of me, I cannot remember who I was when I was there.

That’s so disorienting it takes my breath away sometimes.

Sometimes the disorientation makes me want to run back, to find her.  To recover the girl that grew up in a small town and spent all her days with the same people for two decades of her life.  The girl who had a life that was stable and predictable and dominantly very easy.

But there is no going back.  I know she’s still there.  I grew from her, and she still exists inside me.  She is the roots.  I’m the wings.

The person I used to be cannot hold the things I’ve come to know, the life I’ve seen, the people I’ve loved, the God I’ve experienced.

This is Five Minute Fridays, a place where people with big hearts and small words come together and write for five minutes on a topic every Friday.  No editing, no backspace button, no overthinking or redoing.

It’s terrifying and brilliant.  Join us?

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10 thoughts on “roots and wings

  1. Elizabeth says:

    Amazing how the us we used to be some how, almost sneaky like, morphs into the us we are now. Thanks for sharing your words!

    Coming over from the link up!

    Elizabeth
    http://onegloriousambition.blogspot.com/2012/11/five-minute-friday-roots.html

    • indirtysoil says:

      Thanks, Elizabeth! I know exactly what you mean. I never really recognize all the changes in myself until I go back to my hometown, and suddenly, I realize how far God has brought me. It’s wonderful and hard.

  2. Jacquie says:

    That was so good! I loved the phrase, “She is the roots. I’m the wings.” I too grew up in a small town for the first nearly 20 years of my life, with all the same people, and I’m hardly friends with any of them any more. We’ve all gone our separate ways and I’ve grown so much since then. Again, I love what you said, “The person I used to be cannot hold the things I’ve come to know, the life I’ve seen, the people I’ve loved, the God I’ve experienced.” Beautifully written! 🙂

    • indirtysoil says:

      Thank you, Jacquie! I really appreciate your sweet words.

      I’m exactly the same way…grew up in a small town with very close knit friends…and at this point I’m barely in touch with any of them. Sometimes that feels so weird, and it feels like having failed somehow…but again, God just keeps showing me how much He’s grown me through leaving those comfortable places.

  3. “The person I used to be cannot hold the things I’ve come to know, the life I’ve seen, the people I’ve loved, the God I’ve experienced.”

    What a profound statement and intuitive post.

    We chose the same titles for this 5MF.
    http://simplyphenomenal.wordpress.com

    • indirtysoil says:

      Thank you, Phyllis!

      I loved reading your mutually-named blog. 🙂 I’m not a mom yet, but I hope to be in the near future, and I often think of that as one of my motherhood goals: raising my children with both roots and wings. My mama managed to do so for me, and I couldn’t have asked for more.

  4. shortybear says:

    Really, really good.

  5. Melissa Ens says:

    Touching and thought provoking… I’m living overseas for the first time and wonder how I’m changing… knowing that I will realize more how much I’ve changed when I’m back visiting my other home for the first time. But yes, who I was is still inside, like the layers of an onion or the small beginnings of a sea shell. Fascinating to wonder about. : ) Thanks…

    • indirtysoil says:

      Thank you, Melissa!

      I definitely understand, on a smaller scale. My husband and I moved across the country last year. To Texas…not out of the country, but it sure does feel like a whole other world sometimes! 🙂 It’s just now, in going back home, that I recognize how different I am. The changes have been good, but sometimes they’re so hard to reconcile. Glad to hear I’m not the only one on that journey!

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