I love Jesus, but I fight with Him sometimes. This is one of those times.
Sometimes in my stubbornness, I can’t see why He won’t just do things the way I would. Sometimes in my selfishness, I wonder why everyone else seems to be getting my heart’s desires lately. Sometimes in my arrogance, I am genuinely pretty confident that my way is the far superior plan.
And then, the gentle reminder…
You asked for this. You chose this life, remember?
Sometimes I forget that when I claim to be Christian, I claim to be like Christ. Or at very least, I claim to desire to be like Christ. And of course, I do. Of course I want to be patient and loving and just and merciful and compassionate. But one of my lifelong lessons seems to be that patience and lovingness and justice and mercy and compassion don’t generally come in the form of the actual attributes as much as they do the opportunities to be patient and loving and just and merciful and compassionate.
I believe God’s silence is for the purpose of growing me. Of teaching me to trust that what I want might be something great and wonderful and even noble, but what He wants for me is infinitely beyond that. He wants me to be like Him, and that package deal may or may not include all the watered-down things I “want” along the way.
God help me remember that when I ask to be like Him, He takes me seriously.