delight and desire

Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

I am so thankful for those moments when Scriptures that feel old and cliche and often grossly misused imbed themselves in the dirty soil of my heart in such a real way as this moment, this Scripture.

Because here’s the truth.

I am trying so hard these days to figure out what the desires of my heart are.  I want things that I don’t want two minutes later.  I grieve the loss of so many possibilities when at moments, the loss of those possibilities feels less like death and more like freedom.

I am just so achy and bruised and exhausted from all the trying to figure it out, from all the attempts to process things that I can’t understand and emotions that change from minute to minute.

I have no idea what on God’s green earth I want.  I don’t know what my desires are.

And then there are those words.

Delight in the Lord.

How much I want to do that.  How much I want to just pursue life looking for all the places that Jesus shows His face.  In people, in creation, in laughter, in music, in art, in beauty, in love.  How much I want to be the person who spends her life chasing after those things, instead of chasing after desires that are truly uncatchable.

Delight, I can catch.

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