soul check [1]

Some days I know who I am and where I am and what I feel. Some days, life gives me the space to breathe and contemplate and think my thoughts all the way through, from beginning to end. Sometimes, I need sentence starters, things like I feel, I love, I remember. Sometimes I need practical ways to think my thoughts, and today is that day. Today is soul check day for me. Join me?

I feel like myself today. That isn’t always the case, particularly at work.

I crave wide open blocks of time during which there’s nothing urgent to be done, nothing with a deadline or expectation attached to it.

I love laughing with my students. I really, really love laughing with them.

I’m afraid of death, and the way it changes the living. I’m afraid of the grief process, of myself and the people I love coming out on the other side as completely different human beings, who have to learn how to love-in-action-in-real-time each other all over again.

I’m discovering that my best creative thinking happens at around 7:30 in the morning, usually during or after my commute. That feels a little inconvenient.

I’m bothered by the fact that sometimes it feels apparent that we’re more attached to the idea of quantifiable and correct theology than we are to the fragile hearts of the human beings with whom we disagree.

I’m encouraged by the fact that there are sixteen school days left before summer, and today, that doesn’t feel like much at all. It doesn’t feel overwhelming.

I’m remembering that all is grace, even the things that don’t feel like it. Maybe especially those things.

I’m listening to All Sons and Daughters on repeat these days.

I’m reading Emily’s latest blog, and reminding myself that it’s okay to just sit and be. That sometimes, that’s genuinely the best and most important thing we can do, even if it’s not the most urgent.

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